Four Ways to Be Ready for Anything Labor Throws At You

Birth is full of surprises!

Even though you o the work of getting ready for labor, you probably won’t be completely prepared. The process of birth teaches you new things:

New things about yourself,

about your partner and

about parent-hood.

You learn as you go. So, you can’t know all the things before labor begins. It’s an important task. You can grab ahold of a useful mindset to take with you on your journey. So, with this in mind, how can you get ready for labor? How can you walk into the unknow and bring flexibility to the twists and turns of the path? How can you be fully aware of each moment and respond well? Like this:

1. Switch from outcome-focus to process-focus. Focusing on the process means letting go of the white-knuckle hold on the outcome. While your preparation and planning may have centered around a particular goal: minimal intervention, less pain, vaginal birth, unmedicated birth, etc. there are no guarantees. Some babies require intervention to stay safe. Some labors need some help to keep them progressing. Some mothers become exhausted and overwhelmed by the pain. So giving yourself a little wiggle room for the possibilities, think instead of how you want to move through the birth. What do you want to be the guiding motivation in each step rather than where do you want each step to take you? Which brings us to the next actionable method for maintaining flexibility:
2. Find another personal measure of success. Rather than fixating on vaginal birth or natural birth or high-tech-all-the-bells-and whistles birth, think instead of a personal measure of success. What would that look like to you? What would you like to bring to the birth to make it successful? What can you draw out from yourself in the midst of any circumstance? There is magic in this concept. You can choose your measure of success that’s more focused on what you are learning about yourself as you become a parent. You know it’s a good, useful if it can apply no matter how the birth goes down: scheduled birth by cesarean, 4-hour labor in the bathroom, 3-day induction, etc. You can bring this characteristic or trait to all of the possible birth scenarios.
3. View birth as an uncharted country. You may have an idea of what you want to bring o the labor, but you can also expand this even further. Birth may teach you about life in a way you can’t even anticipate. What will birth teach you? “What do you know about yourself now that you didn’t know before?” “What new freedoms do you have from rules you used to follow?” “How did you honor your baby in your birth? What would your baby thank you for?” Although you’ve never given birth before (or at least gone through this birth before), you may feel like you don’t know what it’s like and other do. Truly, no one knows how your birth will go. Every birth in the history of women has been unique. No on has ever been to yours!
4. Tap into your inner warrior. If birth is a Rite of Passage, then you are the Initiate. Many pregnant women imagine that they just need to be strong enough to get through the birth. That word strong is so loaded! People vary on what that even looks like in their minds, too. Some imagine that strong means stoic. Some imagine it means not asking for help. Some think it means not asking for help. Some think it means being composed and controlled. You may lose it a little! You may be out of control and sweaty and messy and crying out. But think about the warrior who goes off to battle. She may cry for home, smell disgusting and even pee on her saddle. She still comes back a warrior. She still went in and gave it her all and comes back triumphantly with her baby and her battle scars. And here is how the warrior manages:

(Print this out. Put it in your pocket. Tape it to the wall in your labor room)

She does whatever the moment requires of her. Over and over she will ask herself, “What is to be done next?” This is how you get through uncertainty. That’s what parents do. And you are a good parent!

I hope this inspires you. I hope you feel some freedom from the never-ending search for enough knowledge and enough preparation. (That is impossible!) Taking this sprit of flexible adaptation helps you roll with the events of your birth. Many blessings for your upcoming birth.

If you would like more guidance and help with pregnancy, labor, delivery and postpartum, let’s chat.